Want Change? How's your Support?

Posted by Robin Berg on Wednesday, March 3, 2021 Under: Tools for Sustainability and Inspiration

Soul Moxie Insights

(This inspired me today.)

Support is essential

Recently, a long time client shared with me that a huge part of what was/is helpful about coaching together is having an objective person to give her support. In part, it is because asking for/getting/receiving support is often challenging for her (and most women leaders).

In greater part it was helpful because she knew she wanted change, however, in her words, “everyone else had a vested interest in my staying where I was…in the situation I was in.”

All of her friends, family, colleagues were quite happy with how things were going.
She was not.

That landed powerfully on me.

Often the times when we are most yearning for change, to create something new, to move away from something that’s not working, we feel we have to do it alone, when what we really need is support.

No one else is quite as uncomfortable, restless, frustrated, drained, unhappy or daydreaming about an alternative future in the same way as we are. They are quite content to keep things as they are.

Ack!

That is a recipe for the blues, feeling stuck and drained, for sure.

In our culture, support is greatly misunderstood.

Many of us mistakenly perceive the need for support as weakness…rather than understanding that we can advance any initiative exponentially through collaboration and support.

Whether upgrading a work process, enhancing personal/leadership development or shifting who we want to be in life, support transforms a potentially overwhelming challenge into “I got this.”

Support is about a shared objective and a shared load.
Support allows for sustained energy and prevents burnout.
Support creates connection; it makes us feel seen, loved, heard, included.
Support empowers us tenfold.

When I ask clients to explore where their support comes from- the systems, people, practices that help them continue thriving, there’s often a long pause (for many reasons).

Aside from us simply not thinking about support, support confronts us with many layers of “unfamiliar” and uncomfortable.

We are confronted with unique challenges. We have to:

Be able to zoom out and say “Oh wow, I could really benefit from some support right now.”
Identify the right kind of support for the task (objective support, shared vision, system?)
Ask for support (Whaaaat? I can ask? Eeeek…I have to ask?)
Receive the support in a way in which you feel uplifted (not feeling guilty, unworthy, burdensome…)